I was actually at that show
Like Ice Cream said, he had laryngitis. He had a book signing before and they made up a little sign that said ,"I can't speak, I have laryngitis, I love you."
This was the first time I got to see him in person. Every time the Pumpkins came to Colorado something prevented me from seeing them, the first time I was in college and had exams first thing the next morning, couldn't risk it, besides had no money
. The second time my car was in the shop, so no money again, but I tried to find a friend who'd maybe give me a ride and a loan, no dice.
Finally, they've announced they're breaking up, and are playing in Boulder, I am definately going, if I have to take time off work, if I have to go alone, just before tickets go on sale my mother calls, and it's my grandpa's 75th birthday, guess which day? I love the Pumpkins, but they didn't take me to see Snow White when I was five.
So I never got to see them.
Zwan comes along, we get tickets, get all the way to Denver, and are told at the door the show's cancelled, no explanation. Ticketmaster made themselves quite a bit over that one.
Blinking with Fists comes out, and I read it, I actually like it a lot. So I go to Denver for the signing, half-afraid I'm cursed. Then I see Billy and Gooch across the street with their friends. I just start grinning, I can't think of anything to say, so I keep walking to the book store and get in line.
The announcement of Billy's illness is made, but he's really determined to sign everyone's book, the line starts moving, I'm about a dozen people away, and then the fire alarm goes off...
I'm So CURSED!
But everyone is cool about it, we stay in line as we evacuate, and a little later we go back in. I know there were some cuts but we were basically all in the same place. He signed "The Others" for me, a poem that I think I've posted before could describe so many restless nights in my life. I talk to him for a second, he's really nice and smiles and whispered "Thank you" to me.
The show was after. It was weird, being my first show I can't compare it to anything. Imagine a downtown Denver bar, it's basically a concrete block, the kind of place that is always dark, even when all the lights are on. The smell of tobacco ingrained in the walls. Enter Yungchen Llamo (sp?). A Tibetan refugee, she IS an angel, she even radiates like she has a halo. She sings for us, we can't understand the words but the emotion is clear. One song has me smiling deep into my heart, another leaves me wiping away tears, and I don't cry often. It was the single most sublime experience of my life, an angel singing in that bar.
There were times when I thought the audience was very nice, the girl who asked Billy if her sister could sit next to him while he read, because the sister was too shy to ask. And then there were times my head literally fell into my hands, I was so mortified, but Billy was incredibly patient. He offered to pay people's money back. And no one took him up on it.
I seem to recall one person having to leave after a couple hours, Billy asked where they were going, but it was just a "We've had a great time, but we've got to back to the baby" sort of thing.
After the show everyone crowded the stage, I bought a CD from Yungchen. Poor Billy, he had one group of girls trying to talk to him, one person asking him to sign their leg for a tattoo, then he turns around and sees me and I just ask, "May I give you a hug?" So he's smiling and laughing going, "Talking, signing, hugging...!" I'd have loved to have stayed longer, but I was designated driver and had a long drive home, plus, what more did I need? The curse was broken! I got to hug Billy!
Now let me ask this, for those of you who've also met him, however briefly. Is it just me, or does he have really passionate eyes? I just remember when he signed my book and I was trying to talk to him they took me by surprise. I froze up they were so intense. Anyone else experience that?
