WELCOME POTENTIAL PANDAS!!!! THERE IS ALOT OF INFO HERE FOR YOU. THIS PAGE WILL HELP YOU DECIDE IF BEING A PANDA IS RIGHT FOR YOU. THIS PAGE WILL ACT AS A HANDBOOK FOR NEW PANDAS. READ AND ENJOY!

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"A well-regulated militia is necessary to the security of a free society , the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."



Introduction to the "Panda Way"

The Mad Panda Militia is an all-volunteer assembly of men and women. We have a wide range of skills and talents within our ranks. We choose the Panda as our mascot because although bears are usually seen as vicious animals the Panda is a calm and gentle beast with respect for nature and the world it lives in. Pandas are also a dying breed, as are those who believe in our ways. We are a pro-government organization intent on salvaging and defending our rights. We are, however, disappointed in the current state of the world. Our personal freedoms and our the Panda way of life are rapidly vanishing.


We accept and welcome all who wish to preserve freedom and maintain a civilization we can be proud to leave our children and grandchildren; regardless of race, sex, or religion. We maintain a firm belief that every man, woman, and Panda may live, worship, and teach their children as they wish for so long as it respects the personal rights and beliefs of others. Every individual is entitled to his or her own opinion and is under no requirement to explain that opinion to others. However, as a group, MPM will not tolerate racism, anti-Semitism, or prejudice of sex. All are welcome and will be treated with respect. If you are interested, but have reservations based on the stereotypical, "militias are hate mongers” or “Mad Pandas have bad breath” descriptions constantly purported in our liberal news medias, then I challenge you personally to see (and smell) for yourself. Your privacy is assured and there are no records or paper trails that can be used to track our members.


Why Join the Militia?


Because there is absolutely no reason left not to.

Time is up, no more excuses, no more putting it off. This world is headed for a hell in a handbasket, and unless you are a coward, or a part of the problem, you need to start making contact with your fellow Pandas today.

Yes, it is Strong, Straight Language, and all true.

“If you love wealth better than Liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of Freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsel or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you. And May Posterity Forget That You Were Our Countrymen.”

--Samuel Adams August 1, 1776.

Recommended Equipment List

While not every situation requires all equipment and supplies, we recommend that all Pandas stock the following equipment:

1 RIFLE with at least 200 rounds of ammo
1 PISTOL with at least 50 rounds of ammo
1 Combat Knife
1 Panda Pocket Knife
1 Military Buttpack
1 Panda Utility Belt
1 Panda Back Pack or load bearing equipment
1 Qt. Canteen with pouch and Pooh insignia
1 Bottle of Panda Water purification tablets
2 sets of B.D.U.s (battle dress uniforms) w/ woodland camouflage
2 Panda camouflage or black and white T-shirts
1 Billed camouflage Panda cap
1 Panda camouflage jungle hat
2 Pair of Cushioned socks (preferably military)
1 Pair of Panda Combat Boots with extra laces
1 Pair of Lightweight Panda paw gloves
1 Flashlight with red/blue lenses and extra batteries
5 books of Waterproof Matches
First aid kit with necessary medicines (cough drops, foot-paw powder, etc.)
1 Panda Avatar
1 Testosterbone CD
1 Panda Back-Scratcher
3 day supply of food (Preferably Bamboo and Honey)
1 Panda Militia sleeping bag
Insect repellant (the honey will attract bees)
1 Compass
50 ft Panda Parachute
1 DVD copy of Braveheart
Personal Hygiene Kit (UN-scented deodorant, soap, etc.)
A Large Desire to be FREE!

Nice Extras

• GPPS receiver (Global Panda Positioning System)
• Night Vision Panda Goggles

I`m here for you again Mighty Pandas of the Nation.

I`m really happy that we have so many supporters since our last meeting. I think the right people can feel the right vibe....So welcome all the new recruits, feel comfortable among us and release your fears.We will care for you!!

Panda Peace For all of you.

Mad Panda Militia By-Laws

Purpose:

To explain the mission, goals and organizational structure of the Mad Panda Militia.

STATEMENT OF ETHICS:

Under no circumstances will the Mad Panda Militia tolerate immoral behavior or racism.

GOALS:

1. TO PRESENT itself to the citizens of the world as a well regulated, well trained, well equipped, and well educated militia.

2. TO ASSIST citizens and civil authorities in the event of a national disaster, civil defense or in the defense of the Panda way.

3. TO ESTABLISH a cohesive command structure able to instruct and to delegate tasks as needs arise.

4. TO TRAIN members in many disciplines necessary to the function of the Mad Panda Militia as a whole and as members individually.

5. TO EDUCATE members in areas of history, law, and principles from knowledge imparted by historical foundations.

6. TO INFORM its members of local, national, and global events that would imperil the Panda way and impact the direction of society.

7. TO ENCOURAGE members to stand against tyranny and any person, entity, or force which threatens to undermine our freedom.

8. TO SEEK the protection, wisdom, and leadership of the Almighty Panda God as we submit to Him to do His will in protecting the liberty and freedom He has given to all Pandas and Humans alike.

ORGANIZATIONAL STRUCTURE:

In order to achieve the goals listed, a Mad Panda Militia Command Staff has been created. Subordinate to the Command Staff will be other support elements. Each element will be made up of subordinate units necessary to perform the mission of the group as a whole. The Command Staff is made up of commissioned officers selected and appointed by the existing King.

AUTHORITY:

Officers and Non-commissioned Officers elected and appointed to command, as well as support positions, are given their authority by King Panda. As a member you are expected to support and follow the lawful orders and directives of the Chain of Command. Trust and teamwork are the cornerstones of our organization. If you feel compelled to disobey or openly reject the Chain of Command, you should immediately withdraw from the militia, without prejudice. Provision is made to remove members who discredit the militia through a hearing (court martial) conducted by the Command.

GUIDELINES:

All Mad Panda Militia members will be required to take and sign the Oath to uphold the Panda way and to protect it from all enemies.

While it is intended that the MPM intrudes as little as possible in the private lives of its members, it is also clear that individual members are volunteers and must be ready to meet periodically and deploy as the need arises. It will be the objective of the Command to infringe as little as possible on the time of militia members recognizing their responsibilities to their families, schools, and their jobs.

Militia members are highly encouraged to live exemplary lives. Blatant violations of the law place the legitimacy of the Mad Panda Militia at risk. Therefore, in order to protect the militia as a whole, members in violation will be subject to a court martial, comprised of the Command Staff, convened to hear the facts of the case. Members may stand trial for such acts that would discredit the Mad Panda Militia or place it at risk. The member will stand accused at his or her own defense. No charge will be brought to court martial unless supported by at least two Panda witnesses. The maximum penalty for any offense will be permanent dismissal from the MPM. After counsel, the convened Command Staff will vote on action with the final decision to be left up to the King. Any militia member may voluntarily withdraw from the militia without prejudice at any time for conscience sake. In such cases any issued equipment must be returned.

-Believe

General of The Panda Armed Forces Command

Your New Panda Name

Once you have read our mission statement and guidelines and have taken the oathe u will be issued a new Panda name. This will be your title while addressing other Pandas. Here is how U will know what your name will be.......

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle



3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Dipsy Chuckle Sniffer - Australian Contact and Number Mad Panda Militia Member number 3 reprting for duty general

dougydarkangel link=topic=900.msg13987#msg13987 date=1166009296]
Dipsy Chuckle Sniffer - Australian Contact and Number Mad Panda Militia Member number 3 reprting for duty general


At ease First Lt. DCS!

It's a fine day to be a Panda!!!

How are our contacts in Australia doing? Are things running smoothly?

We have an issue in the Middle East that must be dealt with immidiately. A terrorist group has sent us disturbing tape of one of our own being tortured and executed. THE MPM WILL NOT TOLERATE THESE ACTIONS! Here is a copy of the tape... http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5965220489580009581&q=panda

The Panda Oath


Which is to be spoken at every Mad Panda Militia meeting, or the induction of any new panda. To enlist simply post this oathe including your new Panda Name and a personlized statement of your intent (what you would like to accomplish) as a member of the MPM.


I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that i will support and defend the way of the panda against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that i will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that i will obey the orders of the Panda King and the orders of of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Panda Code... So help me Panda God!

Once you've taken the Oath prepare to start training as a member of the MPM. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8131330168662663647&q=panda

I, Tootsie Potty Biscuits, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that i will support and defend the way of the panda against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that i will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that i will obey the orders of the Panda King and the orders of of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Panda Code... So help me Panda God!


As a member of the MPM I will serve and protect the great Panda King. I will cherish him and teach others the most important foundations of th MPM.

I, Snickle FarkleDunkin, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that i will support and defend the way of the panda against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that i will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that i will obey the orders of the Panda King and the orders of of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Panda Code... So help me Panda God!


yay!

I, Snooty Waffle Sprinkles, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that i will support and defend the way of the panda against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that i will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that i will obey the orders of the Panda King and the orders of of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Panda Code... So help me Panda God!

I, Goober Dippinjuice, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that i will support and defend the way of the panda against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that i will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that i will obey the orders of the Panda King and the orders of of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Panda Code... So help me Panda God!

GOOD DAY PANDAS!!! WELCOME ALL WHO HAVE ANSWERED THE CALL TO SERVE OUR GREAT SOCIETY. I AM PROUD OF YOU ALL. I WILL NOW ISSUE RANK TO OUR NEWEST MEMBERS. THEY ARE AS FOLLOWS....

Sargeant Major: Tootsie Potty Biscuits

Master Sargeant: Snickle Farkle Dunkin

Gunnery Sargeant: Snooty Waffle Sprinkles

Staff Sargeant: Goober Dippin Juice

CONGRATULATIONS!

U ARE NOW OFFICIALLY MEMBERS OF THE MAD PANDA MILITIA!

I issue this my first address to you as soldiers...

I am General Boobie Dippin Doodle. I see a whole army of my fellow Pandas,
here in defiance of tyranny! You have come to fight as free bears, and
free bears you are!

What will you do without freedom?

Yes, Fight and you may die. Run and you
will live at least a while. And dying in your bed many years from now,
your final wish would be to trade all the days from this day to that for
one chance, just one chance, to come back here as young pandas and tell
our enemies that they may take our lives but they will never take
our freedom!

Every Panda dies, not every Panda really lives.

DEATH TO THE SYSTEM!!!

I, Snooty Farkle Face, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that i will support and defend the way of the panda against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that i will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that i will obey the orders of the Panda King and the orders of of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Panda Code... So help me Panda God!

As a Panda, I will strive to eliminate ignorance, promote understanding, and reach out to those who suffer alone and in the dark.